An elderly patient needed a heart transplant...
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?""I'll take the lawyer's heart", said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy", said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation."Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked.He replied, "No, just a bit apperhensive."I asked, "What's the diffrence??"He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."