Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Bad temper problem
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!



Nine Words Women Use

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement of ten misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!





Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A Big Glass of Water was a winner against Atheist professor
  • A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton... was a winner against A local United Way office realized that...
  • An ode to old age was a winner against A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist...
  • A very faithful woman was a winner against A young executive was leaving the office...
  • A horrible curse was a winner against Aussie Tossie
  • Be Careful When Robbing Lawyers was a winner against A Redneck Christmas
  • A preacher was completing a temperance sermon... was a winner against An elderly patient needed a heart transplant...
  • A responsible applicant was a winner against Cannibals and Politicians
  • Facing Adversity was a winner against A parent's night before Christmas
  • A responsible applicant was a winner against A defendant was on trial for murder. The...