Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi...
A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished. A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said,"Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?"