Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

I tried to be a tailor...
I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.