Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A man walked into
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, ''Is there a criminal attorney in town?''

To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, ''Yes, but we can't prove it yet!''