Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A pious man who had reached the age of 105...
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist...
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?""I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• A man with a glass eye is here to see you was a winner against A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all...
• A jealous husband hires a private detective... was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...
• If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession was a winner against Facing Adversity
• Bad News and Good News was a winner against 1stPerson: "Do you know anything about...
• Tongue Twisters was a winner against A man in the army asks for a pass
• Bill Gates and General Motors was a winner against A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American...
• A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife... was a winner against As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
• Before and After in Marriage was a winner against A man was wandering around in a field, t...
• A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist... was a winner against A fair deal
• A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told... was a winner against Business one-liners 01