2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25
minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than
golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used
to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior
High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our
pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in
the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like
our annual stewardship campaign!
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''