Vote For Your Favorite Joke

Animals go to Heaven
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'

An ounce of brains
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor.

It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.

His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.

There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce.

A jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce.

And a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.

The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip off! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"

The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife... was a winner against
• A housewife, an accountant was a winner against Business one-liners 08
• 100 Camels was a winner against Bees Pees
• A bus station is where a bus stops... was a winner against A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor...
• At night court, a man was brought in and set... was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...
• A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child... was a winner against A sudden change of mind
• A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier... was a winner against Always By My Side
• Boys and Girls was a winner against I tried to be a tailor...
• A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items... was a winner against A man and his Alligator
• Work vs. Prison was a winner against An Unusual Vet