A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal servi...
A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday
afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down
into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister
turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls
him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didnt!" said the drunk.

The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer,
brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.

Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30
seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace
of God, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this
is where he fell in?"

Bear Hunting
Two Rednecks went bear hunting.

While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"