A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."

Bad News and Good News
Jill phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."

Jill replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."

"OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."

"Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works...bye!"