A Real Watch Dog
A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked. The other customers were very confused and some very upset at the way the animal was being treated. One of the tellers ran up to the blind man and asked, ''Sir, what are you doing!?!''

The man turned toward the teller and simply said ''Looking around.''

Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."