Vote For Your Favorite Joke
In prison you spend a majority of your time in an 8×10 cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behaviour. At work you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you’re just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you can’t even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.
In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are sadistic wardens. At work, we have managers.
It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
while visions of Nintendo and Barbie, flipped through their heads.
The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
which made her sigh, “Now what’s the matter?”
With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
she descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
“Oh great,” muttered the mom, “Now I have to clean the rug.”
“Ho-ho-ho!” cried Santa, “I’m glad you’re awake.
Your gift was especially difficult to make.”
“Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone.”
“Exactly!” he chuckled, “I’ve made you a clone.”
“A clone?” she asked,“What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I’ve no time for chit-chat.”
It was the mother’s twin.
Same hair, same eyes, same double chin.
“She’ll cook, she’ll dust,
She’ll mop every mess.
You’ll relax, take it easy,
Watch The Young & the Restless.”
“Fantastic!” the mom cheered.
“My dream has come true!
I’ll shop. I’ll read,
I’ll sleep a whole night through!”
From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
“Mommy?! I'm scared… and I ‘m wet.”
The clone replied, “I’m coming, sweetheart.”
“Hey,” the mom smiled, “She knows her part.”
The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.
“You're the best mommy ever. I really love you.”
The clone smiled and sighed, “I love you, too.”
The mom frowned and said, “Sorry, Santa, no deal.
That’s my child’s love, she’s trying to steal.”
Smiling wisely Santa said, “To me it is clear,
Only one loving mother, is needed here.”
The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
“Thank you, Santa, for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget, it won’t be very long,
when they’ll be too old, for my cradle-song.”
The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone, “It works every time.”
With the clone by his side Santa said, “Goodnight.
Merry Christmas, Mom, You’ll be all right.”
