A Nutty Game
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''

Business one-liners 04
A good scapegoat is hard to find.

A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.

A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

A little humility is arrogance.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

A little ignorance can go a long way.

A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.

A penny saved has not been spent.

A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it.

A real person has two reasons for doing anything...a good reason and the real reason.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

All general statements are false; think about it.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All generalizations are useless, including this one.

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

All great discoveries are made by mistake.