A Short Time to Live
A man hasn't been fealing well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."
A man in the army asks for a pass
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the
Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just joined the
Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an
Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How
did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the
border with the Arabs. I approached the border,
and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,
the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the
Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a 3-day pass?
So we exchanged tanks!"