A man worries
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.


A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband. A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend. A successful woman is
one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand
him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with
a woman you must love her a lot & not try to
understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's
no use in two people remembering the same thing.


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting
that she won't change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new one.

An attorney was sitting in his office la...
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, the souls of your children, parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, whats the catch?"