Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

Be Careful When Robbing Lawyers
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The
old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their
money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!
We had $100 when we broke in!"