Any Last Words?
There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman, who were going to be shot.

On the day of the executions, they take the Scotsman outside.

"Any last words?", they asked.

He yelled "Earthquake!" and whilst the firing squad were running about in a panic, he climbed the wall and got away.

The Englishman, seeing this, thought he'd try it, so when his turn came.

He shouted "Flood!", and similarly escaped in the ensuing confusion.

The Irishman thought this was a good plan, too so when they asked him for his last words, he yelled "Fire!"

Bill Gates and General Motors
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"