A little old lady goes to the doctor and...
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesnt bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, Ive farted at least 20 times since Ive been here in your office. You didnt know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I dont know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent they stink terribly."

"Good", the doctor said, "Now that weve cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

A Hot Day
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection.

Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him.

When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."