Baseball heaven
Bob and Earl were best friends and had been for 50 years. They went to baseball games together and had the best time possible.

They truly loved the game but they always wondered if there was baseball in heaven and agreed that whoever died first had to call the other guy and tell them if there was baseball in heaven.

Then one night Earl died and then a few days later Bob went to his funeral and came home after the burial service.

Then the phone rang it was Earl.
Earl said,"Bob is this you"
Bob said,"Yes, Earl how are you doing and is there baseball in heaven?"

Earl said,"Well I've got some good news and some bad news."
Bob said, "Whats the good news?"

Earl said, "Well there is baseball in heaven and you can play with Babe Ruth and everybody its great"

Bob said, "Then what's the bad news?"

Earl said, "Well Bob, your starting pitching tommorow night!"

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items...
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD"printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would JesusDo", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm damn sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."