Absentminded Doctor to Patient
After a relaxing vacation, the doctor go in to see his
patient. The doctor says, "I have some bad news and some even
worse news. The bad new is you only have a week to live."

The patient replies, "Oh my God! What could be worse?"

The doctor replies, "I should have told you last week."

Boating Trip
A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.

"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in his heaven watching over us."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that God," the five year old interrupted.

"I was talking about the COAST God."