Blonde in Pain
There was a blonde who was hurting all over so she went to the doctor. The doctor said, ''Where are you hurting?''

She said, ''Everywhere. See?"

She touched her arm and said, "OUCH!"

She touched her leg and, "OUCH!"

She touched her nose, "OUCH!"

"See?" she cried, " I am hurting all over!''

The doctor laughed and said, ''What you've got is a broken index finger!"

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500...
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags.I just won over a million dollars in Vegas."His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?"He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."