An ode to old age
There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart

If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession
If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession=============================================  Animal trainer’s son: Leo Announcer’s son: Mike Astrologer’s son: Leo Astronomer’s daughter: Star Auto mechanic’s son: Jack Automobile salesman’s daughter: Mercedes Baker’s daughter: Cookie Barber’s son: Harry Beggar’s daughter – Penny Birdwatcher's son: Jay Boxer’s son: Jim Burger joint owner’s daughter: Patty Butcher’s son: Chuck Mechanic’s son: Otto Cartoonist’s son: Drew Cat breeder’s son: Tom Cattle thief’s son: Russell CEO’s son: Rich Chauffeur’s son: Brigham Clothing manufacturer’s daughter: Polly Esther Collection agency executive’s son: Bill College chancellor’s son: Dean Comedian’s son – Josh Commercial Fisherman’s daughter: Annette Computer programmer’s son: Chip Cook’s son: Stu Crocheter’s daughter: Lacey Day-trader’s daughter: Hope Dentist’s son – Payne Doorman’s son: Matt Drapery manufacturer’s sons: Curt and Rod Dressmaker’s son: Taylor Fisherman’s son: Rod Flag-maker’s daughter: Waverly Florist’s son: Bud Fly fisherman’s son: Wade Furniture polisher’s daughter: Buffy Gambler’s daughter: Betty Gambler’s son: Chip Geneticist’s son: Gene Gymnast’s son: Matt Highway Patrolman’s son: Chase Hospital nurse’s son: Ward Hot-dog vendor’s son: Frank Instruction book author: Manuel Iron worker’s son: Rusty Irrigation consultant’s daughter: Brooke Janitor’s son: Dustin Junk yard owner’s son: Rex Justice of the peace’s daughter: Mary Lawyer’s daughter: Sue Lawyer’s son: Will Maid’s son: Dusty Manicurist’s son: Hans Messenger’s son: Harold Meteorologist’s daughters: Haley, Gail, Sunny, Misty Miner’s son: Cole or Steele Minister’s daughter: Faith Minister’s son: Neal Mob Boss’s son: Don Mountaineer’s son: Cliff Movie star’s son: Oscar Museum curator’s son: Art Optician’s daughter – Iris Orchestra leader’s daughter: Viola Orthotic maker’s daughter: Eileen Painter’s sons: Art and Hugh Peace officer’s son: Marshall Plumber’s daughter: Piper Plumber’s sons: John and Lou Porter’s son: Cary Realtor’s son: Homer Researcher’s son: Grant Sheet rocker’s son: Wally Sound stage technician’s son: Mike Steam shovel operator’s son: Doug Tanning salon owner's son: Ray Tennis player’s son: Ace Thief’s son: Rob Tire installer’s son: Jack Trout fisher’s daughter: Brook Undertaker’s sons: Barry and Doug University lecturer’s son: Boris Wire-fencer’s daughter: Barb Woodworker’s daughter: Peg