Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.
"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"
"So you would like them," God replies.
"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"
"So you would LOVE them," God replies.
Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"
God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"
A Man And His Money
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
He loved money more than just about anything.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.
He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"
She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.
"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!?
"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."
Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.