Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Any Last Words?
There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman, who were going to be shot.

On the day of the executions, they take the Scotsman outside.

"Any last words?", they asked.

He yelled "Earthquake!" and whilst the firing squad were running about in a panic, he climbed the wall and got away.

The Englishman, seeing this, thought he'd try it, so when his turn came.

He shouted "Flood!", and similarly escaped in the ensuing confusion.

The Irishman thought this was a good plan, too so when they asked him for his last words, he yelled "Fire!"

A lawyer's dog, running about
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, ''if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?''

''Absolutely,'' the lawyer responded.

The butcher immediately shot back, ''Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning.''

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.

The contents read ''Consultation Fee: $25.00.''



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • An artist asked the gallery owner if the... was a winner against 100 Reasons To Party
  • 3 Docs at heavans gate! was a winner against 3 Hunters in the Woods
  • Baseball heaven was a winner against Big Man in a Small Town
  • An honest lawyer was a winner against An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing
  • 3 Hunters in the Woods was a winner against A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop...
  • A Woman's Seminars was a winner against At night court, a man was brought in and set...
  • 7 Word Obituary was a winner against An old occupation
  • Blind Justice was a winner against Age Old Riddle
  • I tried to be a tailor... was a winner against A blonde detective
  • If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession was a winner against A Problem of Problems