Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.
"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"
"So you would like them," God replies.
"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"
"So you would LOVE them," God replies.
Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"
God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"
Billing
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.