An ode to old age
There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart

A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing...
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee's application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.""Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"