A political man to a woman...
A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!"The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you.""Sure you could!!" said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do!"

After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.