An honest lawyer
An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

3 Hunters in the Woods
There are 3 hunters in the woods, they're all telling each other what they're are going to shoot. The first one says he's going to get a buck. So he goes out and comes back with a buck. Then the other 2 hunters ask how he did it and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get buck''. So the second hunter says "I'm gonna get a doe." So he goes out and comes back with a doe. Then the 3rd hunter asks him how he did it. The 2nd hunter says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get doe''. So the 3rd hunter says, ''I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see''. So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten bruised bloody and totally trashed. And the other two hunters ask what happened and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks, I get hit by train!''