A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah
A hungry bee meets a fellow bee who directs the hungry one
to a Bar Mitzvah. The hungry bee eats his fill, then again
meets his friend.

The second bee asks how it went, and hears that his friend
ate plenty. The second bee then asks why the first bee is
wearing a yarmulke (the small round cap that religious Jews
often wear).

The first bee replies, "It was a Bar Mitzvah. I didn't want
anyone to think I was a WASP."

A pious man who had reached the age of 105...
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"