A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane...
A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island belowus that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island,whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?""No Morris!" she responded.Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?""Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!"Now Morris laughs."One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?""Oy Morris I forgot that one too!"Now Morris is practically choking with laughter. Esther asks Morris, "So what are you smiling and laughing about?"Morris responds, "They'll find us!!"

3 Hunters in the Woods
There are 3 hunters in the woods, they're all telling each other what they're are going to shoot. The first one says he's going to get a buck. So he goes out and comes back with a buck. Then the other 2 hunters ask how he did it and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get buck''. So the second hunter says "I'm gonna get a doe." So he goes out and comes back with a doe. Then the 3rd hunter asks him how he did it. The 2nd hunter says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks I get doe''. So the 3rd hunter says, ''I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see''. So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten bruised bloody and totally trashed. And the other two hunters ask what happened and he says, ''I see tracks I follow tracks, I get hit by train!''