A real dilemma
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.

Anniversary Flowers
A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning.

The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.

"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.

Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".