Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

An Amazing Connection
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.

The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''

And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''

QUOTES FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definitely won't be.
4. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to
change whichever foot was previously in there.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot.
9. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts,
the better.



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop... was a winner against A dog for a wife
  • 12 Feet Deep was a winner against A stupid dog
  • Funny News Headlines was a winner against The Passing of an Old Friend
  • 50/50 relationship was a winner against All the strange names
  • A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife... was a winner against
  • A housewife, an accountant was a winner against Business one-liners 08
  • 100 Camels was a winner against Bees Pees
  • A bus station is where a bus stops... was a winner against A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor...
  • At night court, a man was brought in and set... was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...
  • A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child... was a winner against A sudden change of mind