Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Bathtub Seizure
Q: What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of laundry.