A little old lady goes to the doctor and...
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesnt bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, Ive farted at least 20 times since Ive been here in your office. You didnt know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I dont know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent they stink terribly."

"Good", the doctor said, "Now that weve cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

A Man And His Money
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.

He loved money more than just about anything.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.

He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.

"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!?

"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."

Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.