Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A man took his wife to the doctors...
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said"Your wife's mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"