A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

3 Docs at heavans gate!
Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked the first one why he should be let into heaven.

The doctor said "Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work."

The second doctor was a little worried when his turn came.
He said, "I haven't won any prizes, but I've started free clinics and helped those in need for free." St. Peter let him in.

The third doctor said, "I'm responsible for all the HMO's across the United States."

St. Peter thought about it for a minute and said, "OK...
I'll let you in, but only for three days!"