A Night at the Asylum
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"

First inmate answers, "Winston Churchill told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"

Bathtub Seizure
Q: What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of laundry.