A Lawyer Died
A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died.
They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment.
They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.
Then, they get to see where they're going to live?.
The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.
At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters.
By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"
The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of Popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."
3 Docs at heavans gate!
Three doctors arrived in heaven. St. Peter asked the first one why he should be let into heaven.
The doctor said "Because I won the Nobel Peace Prize for my work."
The second doctor was a little worried when his turn came.
He said, "I haven't won any prizes, but I've started free clinics and helped those in need for free." St. Peter let him in.
The third doctor said, "I'm responsible for all the HMO's across the United States."
St. Peter thought about it for a minute and said, "OK...
I'll let you in, but only for three days!"