A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s...
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were sitting around a dinner table, having after-dinner coffee and arguing about religion. Suddenly, the Angel of the Lord appears and says, "I will grant one wish to each of you!"
The minister jumps to his feet and shouts, "I wish for the destruction of all Catholics!"

Then the priest jumps to his feet and shouts, "Well, I wish for the destruction of all Protestants!"

The angel turns to the rabbi and says, "What do you wish for, rabbi?"

And the rabbi says, "Well, if you're going to grant their wishes, then I'll just have another cup of coffee!"

A guy in a bar
The bartender asks him "What'll you have?". The guy answers, "A scotch, please". The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars", to which he replies "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this".A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which consitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration". The bartender's not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again".The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the hell are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!". The guy says "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life", to which the bartender replies "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."To which the guy replies "Thank you! Make it a scotch."