Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

A wife for Adam
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?"

"Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me."

"Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

"Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?"