Absentminded Doctor to Patient
After a relaxing vacation, the doctor go in to see his
patient. The doctor says, "I have some bad news and some even
worse news. The bad new is you only have a week to live."

The patient replies, "Oh my God! What could be worse?"

The doctor replies, "I should have told you last week."

A real dilemma
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.