And God Created ... Pets
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to, "Where do pets come from?"

Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with
me everyday. Now I don't see you anymore. I'm lonesome here
and it's difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you
that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of
my love for you, so that you will love me even when you
cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or
unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as
you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And
it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal
was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam
said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem, because I have created this new
animal to be a reflection of my love for you. His name will
be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
'Dog.'"

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved
him.

And Adam was comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel
came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with
pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he
is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is
loved, but perhaps too well."

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a
companion who will be with him forever and who will see him
as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations,
so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would
not obey Adam.

And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he
was not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.

And Adam was pleased.

And the Dog was pleased.

And the Cat didn't care one way or the other.

A local United Way office realized that...
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "-or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "-so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"