An accountant is having a hard time sleeping...
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor."Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

50/50 relationship
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!