Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

And God Created Woman
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven...
A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The lawyer protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willing to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why can appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"The devil answered: "We have all of the judges."



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Business one-liners 61 was a winner against A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother...
  • An American tourist was a winner against Bad computer viruses
  • An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing was a winner against Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
  • A sailor goes to a cementary was a winner against A lawyer's dog, running about
  • Actual Answer from a Medical Student was a winner against Aussie Tossie
  • A sailor goes to a cementary was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...
  • Bad News and Good News was a winner against Ape Reading List
  • Blind pilots was a winner against A very interesting fact
  • An Internet Christmas was a winner against A wife was berating her husband...
  • A man walked into was a winner against A local United Way office realized that...