Can I take his place?
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.

An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."

The governor replied: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."

A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi...
A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished. A little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said,"Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?"