Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A sailor goes to a cementary
A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed
an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby
grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, "When
do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time
your friend comes up to smell the flowers."