A DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:
* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?
* After ordering lunch at a fast food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?
* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?
* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?
* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?
* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?
* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?
* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?
* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?
* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?
* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?
Bribing the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the
opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney
Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket
and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Leon.
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide
this case solely on its merits.