A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist...
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?""I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

A Dead Lawyer
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"