Bribing the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the
opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney
Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket
and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Leon.
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide
this case solely on its merits.
A DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:
* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?
* After ordering lunch at a fast food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?
* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?
* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?
* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?
* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?
* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?
* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?
* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?
* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?
* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?