A farmer and his wife went into town for...
A farmer and his wife went into town for their yearly medical checkup. After he was finished, the doctor asked to speak with the wife alone. In the doctor's office, the doctor told her that her husband had a very serious disease. He must not have to undergo stress in anyway, the doctor said. You must do all of his chores for him, and make him nice meals 3 times daily.

You must be available for him, and do things with him, such as watch sports games with him. Do not do anything that would cause him to get upset for any reason. Without this kind of special treatment, he will die. You must do this for at least 10 months to a year. At that time he will need another check-up, at which point he will probably be alright again.

Later, on the way home, the farmer asked:"what the doctor tell you?"

She said, "You're going to die."

An Unusual Vet
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"